Review: The Sweeney

Review: The Sweeney

Review: The Sweeney

6 comments 📅13 September 2012, 14:59

Thatfilmthing asked genuine Cockney geezer, Mark Gillman, to jump in the classic Ford Granada and screech down to the multiplex to review The Sweeney. Where’s the popcorn, you slaaaaags?!?!

As I take my seat in the cinema waiting for the sixth instalment of a Nick Love feature film, I feel a sense of endearment. It’s somewhat similar to what a teenage girl has for Hello Kitty. You see, Nick Love and myself have a long history. My jack the lad character and dress sense has long drawn comparisons with the film director. It’s something that my film colleagues have also noticed.

Following Nick’s career has had its problems, as I often find myself defending him to my peers. But what people seem to forget (but somehow love Kevin Smith for), is Nick Love sticks to what he knows best. For those that don’t know: sex, drugs, cockney slang, foul language, football, designer clothing and violence are his chosen film vices.

No one can deny his success though. For low budget film making of usually the £2m-£3m million mark, Nick’s films often reach the one million mark in DVD sales alone. Nick’s scripts have attracted the cream of British actors, including Danny Dyer, Sean Bean, Bob Hoskins, Frank Harper, Tamer Hassan and Ray Winstone. Cunting legends the lot of ’em!

I prepared myself for the film by decking out in my best Stone Island clobber and came tooled up with a bag of penny sweets from the corner shop that my bird smuggled in her handbag. Fackin’ cinema prices total rip off. I’m just glad me bird loves an Orange Wednesday and a fumble in the car park after.

Having not seen any episodes of the previous Sweeney TV series (too young), I take to this film with fresh eyes and perspective. The look of the film is a classic Nick Love budget trick of using desaturated colour to illustrate a grey and gloomyLondon.

Ray Winstone cast as Regan was a good choice as he is a dab hand at playing a miserable nasty cunt and the term ‘you slaaaaaag’ rolls off the tip of his tongue. Ben Drew/Plan B as Carter was a daring move and shows Nick isn’t shy of innovative casting and giving someone a chance. The fella’s good, but the little chav has a lot to learn if he wants to take Dyer’s throne.

The best scenes are by far the driving chases and the gun fight in Trafalgar Square.The plot is strong and action packed and hits all the right sensors that us young males crave. Hayley Atwell – who playsNancy- is a bit of a sort too. Even has that fit bird from Eastenders in it, Kara Tointon. The film consists of everything it would say on the Nick Love tin. It’s one of Nick’s better movies but is not a patch on his greatest movie to date, The Business!

The Brits love nothing more than an underdog and the underdog has done it yet again with news that The Sweeney is top of the UKfilm charts. Nick Love is the Marmite of British film. You either love him or hate him. Me? Fackin’ spread that all over me bread all day mate! The Sweeney is definitely worth seeing at the cinema for an Ayrton Senna (tenner).

Verdict: 7 out of 10


Want The Gillman to report back on more Cockney gems? Leave him a comment below… 


  1. Mr J
    18 October 2012, 21:57 Mr J

    Hello Kitty & Danny Dyer in the same breath ……….

    You’re lucky I ain’t floating round your ‘ ill Manor ‘ or I”d be planting one firmly in your niag’s

    which would evidently spoil your little fumble before you get in your jam jar, you sexy beast …….

    Reply to this comment
  2. JimmyD
    18 October 2012, 17:39 JimmyD

    Marky G smashed it… I’m def going to see it

    Reply to this comment
  3. Steven Wood
    18 October 2012, 16:02 Steven Wood

    “the cream of British actors, including Danny Dyer”

    Are you very very sure about this statement Sir ????? Please…..

    Senor Wood.

    Reply to this comment
  4. thatfilmthing
    11 October 2012, 15:28 thatfilmthing Author

    thatfilmthing would like to ensure readers that The Gillman is indeed real. We first worked with him on DVD & Blu-ray Review magazine.

    Reply to this comment

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