Bruce Campbell takes on our inane quick-fire interview questions – and wins, hand down… 

A set of questions so devilish they could be head of demon studies at Hogwarts. A man known for keeping his cool. It’s the unstoppable whotsit versus the unmovable thingammyjig as Bruce Campbell takes on our fun quiz…

TFT: What’s the meaning of life?
Bruce Campbell: See above.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?
An actor – since I was eight. I’m a one trick pony.

What would you describe yourself as a fan of?
Truth in high places.

If you were stuck on a desert island what three objects would you want with you?
1. A continent. 2. A perpetual motion power system 3. A robot to do everything.

What are your hobbies and interests?
My hobby was acting, then I became an actor. Then my hobby was writing, but I became a writer. Damn me for pursuing my hobbies – I need a new one.

Do you have a Hollywood lifestyle?
I live in the woods in Oregon, so I guess that’s a no. My neighbors are unimpressed.

What’s your dream sci-fi role?
That’s an odd question. Why not dream role period? I don’t have a sci fi dream role, because I don’t follow that world closely.

Why are you so cool?
See question #1 re: meaning of life.

Who’s your most famous friend?
Probably Sam ‘Spider-man’ Raimi. Kurt Russell has turned his back on me.

What’s your mobile phone ringtone?
Generic Blackberry because ringtones annoy me.

Who or what have been the biggest influences in your life?
Bob Hope (pre-CBS comedy specials) and The Three Stooges – you know, the classy guys.

What’s the weirdest thing a fan has ever sent you?
I don’t get sent things anymore, but I have been presented with odd items to sign at conventions, like boobs, rancid poetry, lots of homemade videos, etc.

If you could be anybody else for a day who would you like to be?
I’d be the president, and man, there would be a whole lot of shakin’ goin’ on! It would be the longest day in the history of America, because I would decree that 24 hours be re-defined to mean eight years.

What TV shows do you watch?
I watch news, sports, and documentaries. I’m in bed by 9:30 at night anyway. It’s not sexy, but I live in the world of make-believe, so on my down time I crave reality.

If you could pass one law what would it be?
That we review all laws and their applicability to reality.

If you could invite any four guests from any time or place to dinner who would they be?
I’d have to go with Shemp Howard, Merryweather Lewis, Abe Lincoln and the guy who invented Cheeze Wiz.

If you weren’t an actor what would you be?
A park ranger.

Weapon of choice: shotgun or chainsaw?
Walking stick. I’m a lover, not a demon fighter.

Do you have or have you ever had an entourage?
No and no. It doesn’t make economic sense for a guy like me.

What’s the last film that you watched?
That new Star Wars movie. “Planet who? Where are we? Oh, he’s a…wha…?” Cool effects. Generic dialogue

What’s been the low point of your career so far?
I don’t know, I’m not done yet. Give it time. When I’m doing dog food commercials, it’s time to hang up the spurs.

When was the last time you worried about money?
I have a kid in college – I always worry about money.

Do you have a favorite cause or charity?
Yes, I have a little cause called…planet earth.

Who’s cooler, Ash or Elvis?
It’s not about cool – it’s who would win in a bare knuckle fight – no weapons, no Memphis Mafia, and the answer is Ash. Thankuuuu, thankuverymuuuuuch.

What is your biggest ambition still in life?
To continue working, because through momentum alone, opportunities will present themselves.

Who or what annoys you?
Assholes annoy the shit out of me. Aggressive drivers are all assholes. People who talk on the cell phone without a hands-free thing are idiots, and idiots are ultimately assholes.

What would you call your autobiography?
Um…did you not see this…? If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor. Shop smart…